


I'll Be Your Sugar Daddy

by LeavingBonesExposed



Series: Completely Gay Band Oneshots [10]
Category: A Lot Like Birds, Dance Gavin Dance, Emarosa, Slaves - Fandom
Genre: Jon and Jonny are pimps, Jordan and Bradley are good people, M/M, Michael Franzino is a Murderer, Prostitution used to be legal in Canada, SUPER FUCKING CRINGEY, Tilian and Jonny have a child, Tilian and Kurt are "hoes"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 00:38:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8469124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeavingBonesExposed/pseuds/LeavingBonesExposed
Summary: The Dance Gavin Dance pimp-AU I still owe deathgripsforcutie.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redveinbluevein](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redveinbluevein/gifts).



> Here ya go, Dez. 
> 
> This is incredibly cringey. Read at your own risk.
> 
> Title Credit: Death of a Strawberry by Dance Gavin Dance

Tilian's POV

In a beyond fucked up turn of events, my somewhat-boyfriend and the father of my daughter became my pimp. We have an open relationship because of our line of work. Two years ago, we were broke and living in a one room apartment in the run-down section of Los Angeles, and then, Jonny got me pregnant. When he heard from Jonny that I was pregnant, we were broke as hell, and we were close to being evicted, our friend Jon offered Jonny as job as a pimp, and he took it, since his job at a local gas station was getting us nowhere. About three months after I had our daughter, Samantha, Jonny stopped working with Jon and became a solo pimp, though the two are still friends to this day. Six months ago, when Samantha turned one, I started working as a so-called 'hoe' for Jonny because we needed the extra money. He never intended to become my pimp, but it ended up being necessary to feed and clothe the three of us, and to keep the bills and rent paid. In order to avoid going to jail and losing custody of Samantha, Jonny and I moved next door to Jon in Vancouver, since prostitution is legal in Canada. Our apartment has two small rooms, the one Jonny and I share with Samantha and a spare room, a tiny bathroom, a tiny kitchen, and a tiny living room. It's not much, but we're living, and we're saving up money so we can buy a house, or at least a bigger apartment, and so we can give Samantha the life she deserves. Ever since I started working for Jonny, we've had a routine, and it only changes when Jonny gives me the day off. On the days that I work, Monday through Thursday, and sometimes Friday if we're strapped for cash, I wake up at eight AM and take Samantha across the hall to Bradley and Jordan's apartment. After that, I shower, dress myself in whatever feminine attire Jonny's left for me, and then I head out to the alley where I stand with Jonny's other 'employees', Alex, Tai, Colin, and Chris. We go the whole nine yards to disguise ourselves as women because our clients are mostly men in their late 30s and early 40s who aren't getting jack shit from their wives, and they don't want to be seen soliciting a male prostitute. It gets us extra money too, so I'm not complaining.

"Tilian!" Jonny yells from the living room. Right now, I'm getting Samantha ready to go over to Jordan and Bradley's. They've babysat her since I started working for Jonny, and they're a godsend.

"Yeah?" I ask, balancing Sam on my hip.

"This is Kurt. Is it cool if he stays here?"

"Will you be able to pitch in on rent and a few of the bills?"

"Tai quit because he his mom has cancer and needs him to take care of her, and Kurt is taking his place."

"As long as he's helping out, I don't mind if he stays here."

"I'm giving you the day off, love. And, I'll watch Sam. I need you to explain how things work around here to Kurt."

"You're fantastic, you know that?"

"I try."

"Dada!" Sam squeals, reaching out for Jonny. He smiles and I gently pass Sam to him.

"Follow me, Kurt." I quip. Kurt nods and follows me to our spare room. "You're in here. Bathroom's across the hall, and Jonny, Samantha, and I's room next to it. You're welcome to eat anything in the kitchen, just put whatever dishes you use in the sink and if you have any trash, throw it away. Rent's $800 per month, are you cool with splitting it 50/50?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

"Great. We can talk about the bills later, but Jonny wants me to explain to you how your job works. First of all, do you have any questions about Jonny and/or I?"

"I have a couple. One, are you guys in this field to save up money for Samantha?"

"Yes."

"And two, are you guys together?"

"Sort of. We're not exclusive because of our line of work, but before Samantha was born, we were exclusive for four years. We both went to college, but the recession in the United States hit when we graduated, and the only job we found was at a gas station, and at the time, they were only able to hire one person, and I let Jonny take the job. And then, two years ago, I got pregnant, and we moved out here."

"How long have you been working for Jonny?"

"Six months. Anything else?"

"No, not really."

"Okay. Now, for what we do. Is this your first time being a prostitute?"

"No, I used to work for Jon Mess."

"Jon's a close friend of Jonny and I, and Jonny runs everything the same way Jon does, though you guys earn $10 more. Jonny usually keeps half the money I earn and keeps it in a safe in the trunk of his car, and the other half goes to paying bills and rent, as well as buying anything we absolutely have to have."

"So, Jonny dresses you guys like women?"

"Yeah, just like Jon. I suggest you sleep as much as possible today and tonight, because you're going to need the energy tomorrow." Kurt nods at my words. "So Kurt, tell me about yourself."

"I'm 26, I'm from the United States but moved here for work like you and Jonny, I've known I was gay since I was 14, I absolutely adore the band Underoath, my mom is a member of the Westboro Baptist Church and I haven't talked to her since I told her I was gay ten years ago, and my cat is sitting over in there in the corner. Are we allowed to have animals here?"

"Just cats, hamsters, and other pets that don't make that much noise, if any."

"Fantastic. Donnie usually chills under my bed or in my closet, so he won't bother you guys. Tilian, is it?" I nod. "Thanks for letting me stay here."

"It's no trouble, really." I smile. Kurt nods and I leave the room. Well, it's 9 A.M. and I have nothing to do. Might as well make breakfast. "Hey, have you eaten breakfast yet?" I ask Kurt through his door.

"Yeah, I ate on my way over here."

"Okay, just wondering." I quip and walk into the living room, where Jonny is sitting on the couch with Samantha in his arms. They're watching some kids show, and it's precious. After taking a picture of them and setting it as the home screen on my phone, I sit down next to Jonny. "I'm making breakfast, are you hungry?"

"I am now. Your food is fantastic." Instead of saying anything, I kiss him, and we end up sitting there for a good five or six minutes, practically eating each other's faces.

"I'll be back in a few hours." Kurt says, heading out of the apartment.

"We should bring Sam over to Jordan and Bradley's. The things I want to do to you at the moment shouldn't take place when there's a baby around."

"I hear you loud and clear." I reply, grabbing Sam's diaper bag from its spot next to the couch. Once she's with Jordan and Bradley, Jonny pulls me into our room.

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*Three Months Later*

"So, how much did you make today?" I ask Kurt.

"About $800. You?"

"I believe I made around $900." I reply, unlocking the door to the apartment. "Jordan and Bradley offered to watch Sam overnight. Do you want to watch a movie or something?"

"Jonny lets you fuck whoever, correct?"

"Kurt, we're like brothers-"

"I caught you staring at my ass yesterday, Til."

"It is pretty damn nice." I reply.

"So...?"

"I'm in."

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*Three Months Later*

"Well, it looks like I'm pregnant again. It's Jonny's baby, I know that for sure, but how the fuck am I supposed to continue in my line of work if I'm pregnant?" I ask Kurt when we get home from work. We were out about two hours later than we usually are, and it's already 8 o'clock at night

"Are you absolutely sure it's Jonny's?"

"Yeah. I ALWAYS use protection when I'm working, and you and I have been protected the three times we've fucked." I reply. Kurt and I are still like brothers, we just have casual sex every once in a while.

"So, how are you going to tell Jonny that he got his star hoe knocked up?"

"I'm Jonny's 'star hoe'?"

"You make AT LEAST $100 more than the rest of us."

"I guess I am Jonny's 'star hoe'. I plan on telling him outright that I'm pregnant again when he gets home."

"I'm going to run to the gas station real fast, I'll be back in ten minutes, tops. Need anything?"

"No."

"Okay." Kurt replies and heads out. 

"TILIAN! TAKE SAMANTHA AND FUCKING HIDE!" Jonny screams, running towards me holding Samantha and her bag. He tosses the bag on the couch and I balance the baby on my hip.

"What the actual fuck?"

"One of Michael Franzino's hoes, Cory, is working for me too, and Franzino's is out for my head because Cory's profits are supposed to go to him, not me. Franzino's chased me here, and though I shook him a few blocks ago, he could easily find us. I don't want him getting you or Sam. He's got a gun that he's not afraid to use, Til." Jonny relays. I nod and go into Jonny, Sam, and I's room with Sam in my arms.

"Jonny, where's Til-" I hear Kurt ask, his voice cut off by a gunshot. Something or someone falls to the ground with a loud thump, and then I hear the front door slam. Wasting no time, I lay Sam down in her crib and bolt into the living room, where I'm met with Kurt lying dead as a door nail on his back, a hole in his chest. Jonny's panicking while on the phone with the cops.

"Why the fuck did Franzino shoot him!?" I ask, tears springing to my eyes.

"Franzino must have mistaken Kurt for me!" Jonny exclaims as paramedics come into the apartment and take Kurt's lifeless body away.

I collapse on the couch next to Jonny, crying. "He can't fucking be gone!" I cry.

"Might we be able to speak with you two about what happened here?" A cop asks, pressing the record button on an app on his cellphone.

"I owed a man named Michael Franzino money, and Michael chased me back here with a gun. Kurt got home right as Michael showed up, and Michael shot him, thinking Kurt was me."

"And you?"

"I was hiding in Jonny and I's room with our daughter when everything happened. All I saw was Kurt's body right after he died."

"We will be in contact with you, should we catch Franzino. I am deeply sorry for your loss." The officer says sympathetically and leaves the apartment. Once everyone is out of our apartment about an hour later, Jonny pulls me into his arms and I cry into his shoulder.

"Will you please check on Samantha?" I ask. He nods and goes into our room.

"Sleeping like a little angel, I promise."

"Good." I sigh. "I fucking hate Michael. He killed the guy who was like a brother to me. Kurt didn't fucking deserve to die."

"He didn't. If I get my hands on Franzino, I'll-"

"Knock his ass out and call the cops. Don't you dare finish that sentence."

"Yeah, that's what I'll do. Can't be going to jail when I've got you and Sam."

"And another baby." I mutter under my breath.

"What was that?" Jonny asks, confused.

"Jonny, I'm pregnant again. And there is definitely no possibility of it being someone else's baby. I always use protection when I'm with clients, you know that. And yeah, I let Kurt fuck me a few times, but we were protected then too."

"Woah, back the fuck up!" Jonny exclaims. "You're pregnant!?"

"Yes."

"You had sex with Kurt? I knew you guys were close since you were attached at the hip and all but goddamn. I was not expecting that."

"Craig! We need to talk!" Jon yells from outside the apartment.

Jonny stands up. "Oh hell no. Sit your ass down." I command. Jonny sits down and I open the door, arms crossed. "Keep your voice down, Mess. Some of us have sleeping children." I quip, letting him into the apartment.

"What's got your boxers in a twist, Pearson?"

"Kurt Travis, my best fucking friend, was shot in the heart by Michael Franzino." I mutter.

"So I heard. Franzino's not getting away with this, either. I have men combing the streets for him as we speak."

"Now, what was so important that you nearly woke up my child to tell Jonny?"

"What I just told you. Franzino is a dead man if I find him."

"Why are you so hell bent on finding Franzino? I thought Kurt used to be one of your hoes, nothing more, nothing less before he started working for Jonny?"

"He never told you about him and I?"

"No, he didn't."

"He worked for me for three years, and we were dating for the last year and a half he was with me. We broke up and he stopped working for me because I got him pregnant, and he miscarried."

"Holy shit."

"I can't believe he never told you."

"Neither can I. Is there anything else you need?"

"Yeah. Jonny, you and I have a meeting to attend." Jon replies. Jonny nods and heads for the door.

"I tell you I'm pregnant, and you decide to leave? What the fuck, Jonny!?"

"It's for work. And Tilian, you know damn well we can't afford another baby."

"Are you suggesting that I get an abortion?"

"I'm just saying we need to consider our options."

"If you walk out that door, I won't be here when you get back." I quip. I can't stay here. One, my best friend was killed in this apartment. Two, with Franzino wanting to kill Jonny, it's not safe for Sam to be here. And, I'm pregnant again, so Jonny, believing it's an empty threat, leaves the apartment with Jon. I head into the bedroom, picking Sam up. "Well little lady, looks like we're going to be on our own for a while." I whisper. Sam starts giggling, and I set her back down in her play pen. After packing our things, I lay her down on Jonny and I's bed so I can fold up her play pen. Once I carry everything down to my car, I balance Sam on my hip and we walk over to Jordan and Bradley's.

"Jordan, I know this is on such short notice, but I really need a place to stay for the night. Can Samantha and I sleep here, just for tonight?"

"Of course you can, Tilian." Jordan replies, letting Sam and I into he and Bradley's apartment. After laying Sam down in the crib that Bradley and Jordan still have from when their four year old son, Adam, was still a baby, I sit down next to them on their couch. "So what exactly happened?"

"Kurt's dead."

"Wait, what!?"

"One of Jonny's other employees was working for a man named Michael Franzino, and Franzino was pissed, and came to our place with a gun. He sot Kurt in the heart, killing him instantly, after mistaking him for Jonny. That made me realize that the line of work Jonny and I are in is no place for a child, and that with Franzino on the loose and out for Jonny's head, neither Sam or I are safe here. Jonny's friend Jon Mess showed up at our door an hour later, right after I told Jonny he and I were having another baby, and after I explained what Franzino did, told Jonny that they had a meeting to attend, and Jonny decided to go with him. I asked Jonny why the fuck he would leave after I told him I was pregnant, and he told me he was leaving because of work, and that we don't have the money for another baby. I accused him of implying that I should get an abortion, and he told me we need to keep our options open, so I told him that, if he left, I wouldn't be there when he got back. He believed it was an empty threat, and left anyways."

"Goddamn. Oh, congratulations on the new baby by the way."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. So, do you know where you're going to go?"

I nod. "I'm going to stay here in Vancouver at a hotel long enough to bury Kurt, and then Sam and I are probably going to move in with my mom back in the States."

"We'll miss you, that's for sure."

"Sam and I will miss you guys too. I really do want to stay, but I need to get my daughter out of here. I also need a real job, but I need to focus on Sam's safety mostly."

"The next time we see Jonny, we'll tear him a new asshole." Bradley quips as we hear a knock on the door. Jordan looks through the peep hole they have for some ungodly reason.

"Til, it's Jonny." He hisses. I nod and hide in the spare room Sam's sleeping in. "Jonny, what's wrong?"

"Tilian left and it's all my fault." Jonny sobs. Holy shit, I made Jonny cry!?

"What the hell did you do?"

"I made Tilian think I want him to have an abortion, and didn't believe him when he said he'd leave me if I went out with one of my friends and went anyways."

"You fucked up, Jonny. We don't know where the hell they are."

"I know I fucked up, believe me. Tilian and Samantha are the best things to ever happen to me, and I don't want him to give away or kill our new baby. I never should have gotten Tilian involved with my work."

"No, you shouldn't have."

"Just call me if you find out where he is, okay? I need him more than he'll ever know. Fuck, he probably hates me. I mean, I am the reason Kurt is dead after all. I ended up not going with my friend, and instead, I bought a ring for Tilian, because I want to marry him. I was going to tell him he didn't have to work for me anymore, and then I was going to ask him to marry me."

"Holy shit." Bradley quips. Not being able to hold myself back any longer, I run out into the living room, hugging the living shit out of Jonny.

"I don't hate you. It's not your fault Franzino is a crazy bastard. And yes, I will fucking marry you. As long as you stop being a pimp. There are so many other things you can do in this world. Please."

"I'll start looking for a new job in the morning."

"Could you guys watch Sam for the night? I think Jonny and I have some talking to do."

"Of course we will. Just, don't be too loud. We heard your pornstar-like moans the other night, Tilian, and that's not something we want to hear again."

"I hear you loud and clear." I reply, lightly blushing. Jonny and I head back over to our apartment. "Jonny, would you kindly make me forget about today?"

"Gladly."

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, it's really cringey, but at least it's done.


End file.
